Please click below to read a letter from Rabbi Goldsmith to our students and alumni about the recent, tragic events in Itamar.
Dear Students,
כִּי עָלָה מָוֶת בְּחַלּוֹנֵינוּ בָּא בְּאַרְמְנוֹתֵינוּ לְהַכְרִית עוֹלָל מִחוּץ בַּחוּרִים מֵרְחֹבוֹת (ירמיה ט)
For death has come into our windows, it is entered into our palaces, to cut off the children from the street, and the young men from the broad places.
I have been asked by a few of you to share my thoughts about the unspeakable tragedies in Itamar this past Shabbat and, more broadly, about other sudden losses that have befallen our community. You asked for comforting words and “to help make sense” of what happened to our people, our family.
In all candor, this is uncomfortable for me. I was not planning on writing anything and, while I went with SFW to the painful, painful funerals, I barely spoke publicly about them in school or out. I simply did not know what to say. I must apologize that I, like you, am at a loss.
אֲפָפוּנִי חֶבְלֵי מָוֶת וּמְצָרֵי שְׁאוֹל מְצָאוּנִי צָרָה וְיָגוֹן אֶמְצָא (תהלים קטז)
The pains of death surrounded me, and the boundaries of the grave have found me; I found trouble and sorrow.
I wish I could say something that would make us all feel better. I wish I could eulogize the Fogel family appropriately. I wish I could say something about the people close to me and the people whom I’ve never met – from Itamar, Teaneck, Englewood, Chicago, and around the world – who are no longer with us. But I am truthfully unable to suggest any meaningful wisdom - הלא לאלוקים פתרונים (בראשית מ) - Explanation and enlightenment in times like these are the sole domain of Hashem.
Of course, even in our darkest hours, we affirm our unequivocal belief that Hashem runs the world-
אני מאמין באמונה שלימה שהבורא יתברך שמו הוא בורא ומנהיג לכל הברואים....
Earthquakes, tsunamis, nuclear meltdowns – all are brought by Hashem. We attempt to find meaning in the senseless tragedies and surprising losses that have befallen us. Like you, I too am searching to find meaning in this tragedy. Like you, I believe that כל דעביד רחמנא לטב עביד (ברכות ס:) – whatever Hashem does is for the good. But from my limited, mortal perspective – I can see no good. We beg Hashem הודעני נא את דרכך and הראני נא את כבדך (שמות לג). But in these days of הסתר פנים we all receive the answer that Moshe himself received: לא תוכל לראת את פני - Man is not privy to Hashem’s calculations.
Because of these seemingly opposing passions - an absolute knowledge of Hashem’s direction and oversight along with a strong desire to know to understand why these tragedies happened – I am stuck. I know the earth should stop rotating when the throat of a 3-month-old is slit. But life, quite literally, goes on. I know that supermarkets should be empty, stock markets should be closed, and newspapers should not continue delivering headlines of sporting events and cultural performances. When tragedies occur, it seems likeעולם כמנהגו נוהג והולך (מסכת ע"ז נד:) - “the world pursues its natural course” while I wait patiently for the continuation of that Gemara to come true: ושוטים שקלקלו עתידין ליתן את הדין – “And the fools who do wrong will be held accountable.”
The Rambam says (Hil’ Ta'aniyot 5:9) that all of the fixed fast days on our calendar (e.g. Tisha B’Av) will be eliminated when Mashiach arrives. However, the Brisker Rav maintains that the Rambam holds that, unlike the other fasts of the year, Ta’anit Esther will not be eliminated even after Mashiach arrives. Like Purim, the fast of Ta’anit Esther will be observed even in the Messianic era. Why is that so? Why should Taanit Esther be different?
Rabbi Soloveitchik zt”l says that Ta’anit Esther is wholly different than others fasts of the year. While Asara B’Tevet, Shiva Asar B’Tammuz, Tzom Gedalia and Tisha b’Av memorialize the tragic destruction of the Beit Hamikdash, Ta'anit Esther does not. It is a prelude to celebration. On Purim we celebrate, but that celebration – and the pirsumei nisa associated with it – is only complete if we fully appreciate the nervousness, the unease and the near-death anxiety that preceded it. Ta’anit Esther – like Purim – will always be observed because it is forever and inextricably linked to the never-ending happiness of Purim.
A Jew’s life is almost always an amalgam of joy and apprehension, of thanksgiving and petitioning. זה היום עשה ה' נגילה ונשמחה בו is always connected to and followed by אנא ה' הושיעה נא and הודו לה' כי טוב כי לעולם חסדו is always coupled with מן המצר קראתי קה ענני במרחב קה.
As we prepare to celebrate on Purim this year, recent events remind us that before we rejoice, we must reflect on what has befallen us. We certainly appreciate and express unending gratitude for all the good that Hashem has bestowed upon us personally, communally and nationally. But an essential part of that gratitude is the fact that we must recognize the tragedies that we have experienced in the past and our constant need of Hashem’s infinite kindness in the future.
In short, we cannot move forward until we look backward.
Events like these spur us to make noble, well-intentioned changes in our lives. But all too often these changes are fleeting: they last as long as the headlines. We want to be different, we want to make a difference, but we often find ourselves back to our same old selves. We often shake our heads in sorrow and disbelief, but wake up in a week or a month with the painful recognition that we did nothing to change עולם כמנהגו נוהג והולך.
How can we stop the world? How can we make sure our routines change?
I would suggest a few small things that I have been thinking about for myself as I try my best to change not the world but myself. These are small, digestible, do-able things that are inspired by the tragedies that we have witnessed. Of course more is better. But sometimes כל המוסיף גורע (סנהדרין כט) – we try to bite off more than we can chew and, in the end, have nothing to show for it. Perhaps these small changes to our lives can help us make sure that these tragedies don’t just pass us by but change us.
1) Embrace the Everyday - Appreciate the daily, “normal” routines in your life. Remember the value of את הכבש האחד תעשה בבקר – and remember that תדיר ושאינו תדיר, תדיר קודם. Express gratitude for one “normal” thing each day that you have not noticed... until now. We have seen in the last few weeks and months how every “normal” and “usual” day is an absolute gift from Hashem. What have we taken for granted…. until now?
Only one thing. Of course more is better. But start small.
2) Appreciate Everyone - Greet one person nicely, בסבר פנים יפות that you otherwise wouldn’t have greeted…. until now. Learn something from them and be a חכם הלומד מכל אדם: I only wish I had the opportunity to meet some of the special people who are no longer with us, about whom I learned so many things from their eulogies. There are great people all around us.
Only one person. Of course more is better. But start small.
3) Appreciate Family and Friends - Write an email, or better yet, pick up the phone, and call at least one family member or friend that you otherwise wouldn’t have called… until now. Maybe even sit down and write a letter. I have a relative who is completely technologically savvy; he has a Blackberry and an I-Pad. But he takes the time every so often to write us a letter with an actual pen and a real piece of paper and he sends it in the regular mail. Joy and I wait for those letters and read them slowly. And we appreciate them so, so much.
Only one friend or relative. Of course more is better. But start small.
4) Rededicate ourselves to Torah - Increase your Torah learning by 5 minutes each day. Come on time to shiurim, chavrutot, the Beit Midrash and stay later. Or come 5 minutes early. Either way, let's show ourselves that no matter how busy we are, Torah is עיקר in our life.
Only 5 minutes. Of course more is better. But start small.
5) Improve our Davening - Come 5 minutes earlier to davening than you do now. Think about what you are about to do, what you are thankful for, what you are asking for. No cell phone, no Blackberry, no learning for those 5 minutes. Just you and your preparations for Tefilla to be עומד לפני השכינה.
Only 5 minutes. Of course more is better. But start small.
6) Re-Connect with Eretz Yisrael - Take 5 minutes a day to appreciate the great and historic gift that Hashem has provided us. Read the news about your Home. With the internet and email, it is so easy to be in touch with our Land and see what acheinu b’nei Yisrael are experiencing here. And, when you do look at the news, look for at least one positive story. The world – even our own world - is quick to share negative stories about things that happen here; look for positive things to share.
Only 5 minutes. Of course more is better. But start small.
As I said, these are only small things, minute changes that we can make in our daily lives that perhaps, in a small, minute way, help us move forward, to stop the world. I wish I could offer more comforting words, as you requested.
רחמנא דעני לתבירי ליבא ענינא (סליחות)
May the Merciful One Who answers the brokenhearted, answer us.
In the zechut of all our tefillot, may the words we say in the Selichot for Ta'anit Esther become actualized soon for the families and for all of Klal Yisrael:
בינה הגיגנו עתה וראה בצר
השיבנו למנוחתיך כי ידך לא תקצר
אדון קראנוך מן המצר
אנא הוציאנו למרחב וחלצינו מצר
[Hashem,] understand our thoughts now and see our pain
Return us to your resting place for your abilities are not limited
Master, we called you from the straits
Please take us to comfort and release us from pain
Return us to your resting place for your abilities are not limited
Master, we called you from the straits
Please take us to comfort and release us from pain
בלע המות לנצח ומחה א-דני יקוק דמעה מעל כל פנים וחרפת עמו יסיר מעל כל הארץ כי ה' דבר (ישעיהו כה)
He will swallow up death forever; and the Lord will wipe away tears from all faces and the reproach of His people He will take away from all the earth, for Hashem has spoken.
