Dearest Students,
All of us have been walking in a fog this past week. A
dark cloud surrounds us. It is difficult to think of anything else. Everywhere
we turn and everything we do, we think about the poor children separated from
their families, lonely, afraid. People say to each other, “How are you” and the
response is always mitigated: “I am doing as well as I can be doing” or “I am fine….
considering…..” I wrote an email to someone recently and, in the beginning of the email, I asked how
she was doing. She replied, “I am suffering like the rest of Am Yisrael.”
I find that whenever something “happens” in the course
of the day, my thoughts connect it to the kidnapped children. And speaking to other
people, I know well that I am not the only one. I make it a habit not to check
my emails before davening in the morning; this past week, I have broken that
rule every morning. Another example: I was driving with my son Shimmy this week when about three police cars, sirens blaring, passed us. My first, instinctive thought was, “They found them??” I turned on
the radio to hear…. nothing. The police sirens were unrelated.
As Jews, we believe with all our being, in “Acheini Kol
Beit Yisrael.” And so, our tefillot and our thoughts continue to be preoccupied
with the safe and speedy return of Gilad Michael ben Bat Galim, Yaakov Naftali
ben Rachel Devorah and Eyal ben Iris Teshura.
And, as Jews, we are do-ers. We do not feel
comfortable “sitting on our hands.” So we naturally think about what we can do
to hasten their return quickly. I wish I could say “do this” and all will be
fine. But
I am truthfully unable to suggest any meaningful wisdom….
הלא לאלוקים פתרונים (בראשית מ)
… explanation and enlightenment in times like these
are the sole domain of Hashem.
Of course, even in our darkest hours, we affirm our
unequivocal belief that Hashem runs the world:
אני מאמין באמונה שלימה שהבורא יתברך שמו הוא בורא ומנהיג לכל
הברואים....
Earthquakes, tsunamis, nuclear meltdowns – all are
brought by Hashem. We attempt to find meaning in the senseless events and
surprising incidents that befall us. Like you, I believe:
כל דעביד רחמנא לטב עביד (ברכות ס:)
…whatever Hashem does is for the good. But from my
limited, mortal perspective – I can see no good. We beg Hashem הודעני נא את דרכך and הראני נא את כבדך (שמות
לג). But in these days of הסתר פנים we all receive the answer that Moshe himself received: לא תוכל לראת את פני - Man is not privy to Hashem’s calculations.
That said, we reject unambiguously any attempts to connect the kidnapping
to our actions as a nation. We do not live in an age of nevuah. Nor do live in
the age of Choni Hame’agel. We have full clarity in the fact that Hashem runs
the world, but we have concomitant ambiguity regarding how He runs the
world.
So what should I do? Is there anything I can do to
change the world? Probably not. But I think that while it may not be in my
power to change the world it is in my power to make sure the world
doesn’t change me.
Years ago, when I was
learning in Sha’alvim, a close high school friend and chavruta was diagnosed
with leukemia. When I first heard, I went immediately to the Beit Midrash and I
tried to say Tehillim. It was 3 AM. I tried and I tried. But I could not daven. Instead, all I
could do was cry. After about 30 minutes I went to my room and fell asleep. No Tehillim. Just tears.
The next day, I approached my Rosh Yeshiva, Rav Meir
Schlessinger shlit”a. I told him about my friend and I told him about my failed
attempts to say Tehillim. I told him I felt fake; Hashem knows exactly why I
was davening. It wasn’t because I was inspired to say Tehillim. It wasn't because I felt my tefillot until then were unworthy and I was suddenly overcome with inspiration. It was for one
thing only: for my friend’s refuah shleimah. Hashem knew that better than me.
So who was I kidding?
In response, he quoted the
following Midrash: when Bnei Yisrael left Egypt, they see that Pharoh was
chasing after them. The Torah uses a strange language to describe Pharoh’s pursuit:
The Torah says “ופרעה הקריב”
(שמות
יד:י) using the causative “הפעיל” which means “And Pharoh brought closer.” We would have
expected the Torah to say “ופרעה קרב”
meaning “And Pharoh came closer.” Why the switch? The Midrash and many
mefarshim offer a variety of answers to this question. One of the explanations is found
in שיר השירים רבה (וילנא) ב:ב:
מהו הקריב? שהקריב את ישראל לתשובה. כיון שראו אותם תלו עיניהם להקב"ה ויצעקו לפניו...וכשצעקו בני ישראל לפני הקב"ה מיד ויושע ה'
ביום ההוא (שמות יד:ל)
What is indicated by ‘And
Pharoh brought closer?’ He brought Bnei Yisrael closer to Teshuva. Once Bnei
Yisrael saw Pharoh approaching they turned their eyes to Hashem and screamed
out to him in Tefilla…. and when they did that, we hear immediately “And Hashem
saved them on that day….”
This is exactly what Hashem
wants us to do in times of crisis. To daven to Hashem, to do Teshuva, to
improve our ways! Pharoh is approaching! What is our response? Tefilla!
Teshuva! Tzedakah!
Indeed, events like these spur us to make noble,
well-intentioned changes in our lives. But all too often these changes are
fleeting: they last as long as the headlines. We want to be different, we want
to make a difference, but we often find ourselves back to our same old selves.
We often shake our heads in sorrow and disbelief, but wake up in a week or a
month with the painful recognition that we did nothing to change עולם כמנהגו נוהג והולך.
How can we make sure our routines change?
How can we make sure our routines change?
Many years ago I wrote about a few small, digestible,
do-able changes and actions that we can do in our own lives. I have reprinted
them below with some minor changes.
Again, these are small. Digestible. Do-able. Of course
more is better! But sometimes כל המוסיף גורע (סנהדרין
כט) – we try to bite off more than we
can chew and, in the end, have nothing to show for it. Perhaps these small
changes to our lives can help us make sure that these events don’t just pass us
by but change us.
1) Embrace the Everyday - Appreciate the daily, “normal” routines in your life. Remember the value of את הכבש האחד תעשה בבקר – and remember that תדיר ושאינו תדיר, תדיר קודם. Express gratitude for one “normal” thing each day that you have not noticed... until now. We have seen in the last days how every “normal” and “usual” day is an absolute gift from Hashem. What have we taken for granted…. until now?
Let’s do this only once a day. About only one thing. Of course more is better. But start let’s small.
2) Appreciate Everyone - Greet one person nicely, בסבר פנים יפות that you otherwise wouldn’t have greeted…. until now. Learn something from them and be a חכם הלומד מכל אדם: There are great people all around us. Let’s appreciate them. Engage them.
Let’s do this with only one person each day. Of course more is better. But let’s start small.
3) Appreciate Family and Friends - Write an email, or better yet, pick up the phone, and call at least one family member or friend that you otherwise wouldn’t have called… until now. Maybe even sit down and write a letter. I have a relative who is completely technologically savvy; he has an Iphone and an Ipad. But he takes the time every so often to write us a letter with an actual pen and a real piece of paper. And he sends it in the regular mail. Joy and I wait for those letters and read them slowly. We save them for later. And we appreciate them so, so much.
Let’s do this with only one friend or relative each day. Of course more is better. But let’s start small.
4) Rededicate ourselves to Torah - Increase your Torah learning by 5 minutes each day. Come on time to shiurim, to chavrutot, to the Beit Midrash. And stay later. Or come 5 minutes early. Either way, let's show ourselves that no matter how busy we are, Torah is עיקר in our life.
Let’s do this for only 5 minutes a day. Of course more is better. But let’s start small.
5) Improve our Davening - Come 5 minutes earlier to davening than you do now. Think about what you are about to do, what you are thankful for, what you are asking for. No cell phone, no Iphone, no learning for those 5 minutes. Just you and your preparations for Tefilla to be עומד לפני השכינה.
Let’s do this for only 5 minutes each day. Of course more is better. But let’s start small.
6) Re-Connect with Eretz Yisrael - Take 5 minutes a day to appreciate the great and historic gift that Hashem has provided us. Read the news about your Home. With the internet and email, it is so easy to be in touch with our Land and see what acheinu b’nei Yisrael are experiencing here. And, when you do look at the news, look for at least one positive story. The world - even our own world - is quick to share negative stories about things that happen here; look for positive things to share.
Let’s do this for only 5 minutes each day. Of course more is better. But let’s start small.
As I said, these are only small things, minute changes that we can make in our daily lives that perhaps, in a small, minute way, help us move forward, to stop the world. I wish I could offer more comforting words, as you requested.
1) Embrace the Everyday - Appreciate the daily, “normal” routines in your life. Remember the value of את הכבש האחד תעשה בבקר – and remember that תדיר ושאינו תדיר, תדיר קודם. Express gratitude for one “normal” thing each day that you have not noticed... until now. We have seen in the last days how every “normal” and “usual” day is an absolute gift from Hashem. What have we taken for granted…. until now?
Let’s do this only once a day. About only one thing. Of course more is better. But start let’s small.
2) Appreciate Everyone - Greet one person nicely, בסבר פנים יפות that you otherwise wouldn’t have greeted…. until now. Learn something from them and be a חכם הלומד מכל אדם: There are great people all around us. Let’s appreciate them. Engage them.
Let’s do this with only one person each day. Of course more is better. But let’s start small.
3) Appreciate Family and Friends - Write an email, or better yet, pick up the phone, and call at least one family member or friend that you otherwise wouldn’t have called… until now. Maybe even sit down and write a letter. I have a relative who is completely technologically savvy; he has an Iphone and an Ipad. But he takes the time every so often to write us a letter with an actual pen and a real piece of paper. And he sends it in the regular mail. Joy and I wait for those letters and read them slowly. We save them for later. And we appreciate them so, so much.
Let’s do this with only one friend or relative each day. Of course more is better. But let’s start small.
4) Rededicate ourselves to Torah - Increase your Torah learning by 5 minutes each day. Come on time to shiurim, to chavrutot, to the Beit Midrash. And stay later. Or come 5 minutes early. Either way, let's show ourselves that no matter how busy we are, Torah is עיקר in our life.
Let’s do this for only 5 minutes a day. Of course more is better. But let’s start small.
5) Improve our Davening - Come 5 minutes earlier to davening than you do now. Think about what you are about to do, what you are thankful for, what you are asking for. No cell phone, no Iphone, no learning for those 5 minutes. Just you and your preparations for Tefilla to be עומד לפני השכינה.
Let’s do this for only 5 minutes each day. Of course more is better. But let’s start small.
6) Re-Connect with Eretz Yisrael - Take 5 minutes a day to appreciate the great and historic gift that Hashem has provided us. Read the news about your Home. With the internet and email, it is so easy to be in touch with our Land and see what acheinu b’nei Yisrael are experiencing here. And, when you do look at the news, look for at least one positive story. The world - even our own world - is quick to share negative stories about things that happen here; look for positive things to share.
Let’s do this for only 5 minutes each day. Of course more is better. But let’s start small.
As I said, these are only small things, minute changes that we can make in our daily lives that perhaps, in a small, minute way, help us move forward, to stop the world. I wish I could offer more comforting words, as you requested.
רחמנא דעני לתבירי ליבא ענינא (סליחות)
May the Merciful One
Who answers the brokenhearted, answer us.
In the zechut of all our tefillot and all of our sustainable actions, may Hashem spread His Sukkat Shaleim over Gilad Michael ben Bat Galim, Yaakov Naftali ben Rachel Devorah and Eyal ben Iris Teshura, and return them to their families safely, soundly and quickly. And may Hashem watch over the soldiers who are searching for the three children and bring them home as well safely!
